.beautyful ones. {trifecta challenge}

It’s  Trifecta Writing Challenge time. I have been away from the challenges as of late but I thought I’d try my hand at it this week. This week’s prompt is:

 

PLUCK: (transitive verb)

1: to pull or pick off or out

2 a : to remove something (as hairs) from by or as if by plucking

b : rob, fleece

3: to move, remove, or separate forcibly or abruptly

4 a : to pick, pull, or grasp at

 

b : to play by sounding the strings with the fingers or a pick

———————————————————————————————

the beautyful ones are not yet born.

beer poured over horns, strings soaked in gin

cumulus bones floating from the end of his

half parted mouth

pain, thinly veiled, is the basis for addiction

hidden behind his contraptions

fingered, strummed, beaten

his pain is felt in half notes

coming in and going out to

signal the tinge in his gut

post set,

he is in need of a cab

as frigid winds cut through his skin

visions of naima freshly painted

on his ears, as that is his closing

song.

{how will he play it differenly next time?}

urban tumbleweeds

frolicking around his feet

pluck him out of his trance

ragged eyelids hang baritone low

and the smoke imprinted in his clothes

reminds him of why he needs to quit

he ignites another and as his essence floats

away in a poisoned cloud, he stands in the

afterglow, resounding tunes playing back

entering a cab, he levitates into the backseat

he gradually tapers off…

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12 thoughts on “.beautyful ones. {trifecta challenge}

  1. Wow, powerful piece. One of my sisters is an alcoholic. So for me I don’t see it as a device at all. It’s real. It’s painful to witness. I love so many of your word choices, but particularly ‘his ragged eyelids hang baritone low’. Great work!

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    1. If it’s real to you, how could it ever be a device, indeed. This is a very real piece to me. That “taper” at the end saw it’s completion. Well, I assume it was a taper. At least I wanted it to be a tapering off, of sorts. Smooth and indistinguishable from a dream… Won’t ever know for sure if it happened that way.
      Thank you for reading and for being able to relate. 🙂

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  2. Nice rhythm. Very nice word play. I think the strong part of this poem is in your atmosphere, and the vocabulary you choice. Poisoned clouds, urban tumbleweeds, and cumulus bones.

    I wanted to hate your poem, because I feel like alcoholism has become a cliche. It’s an easy way to induce suffering for those who feel creativity is inevitably tied to self destruction, in my opinion.

    Yet, you mention naima — who I’m going to assume is a lover — and this gives the poem weight. Because in any story of suffering with addiction it’s the people affected, and not the high one.

    Nice job.

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    1. Thank you for reading and for your thoughts on the piece.
      It is very much non-fiction with a sprinkling of embellishment.
      I agree with your feeling about alcoholism being a device in most writing that seems overused but that is an important non-fictional aspect that had to be added.
      “The Beautyful Ones Are Not Yet Born” is a heart wrenching Branford Marsalis tune that came to mind as this piece fleshed out. If you ever get a chance to hear it, you will see what I mean.
      Addiction/dependence is just as heart wrenching.
      “Naima” is his lover, indeed. Also a jazz tune by John Coltrane. The name played double duty as both.
      I’m getting long winded and explaining where I was going when I should be leaving it up to you, the reader, to decide where the piece takes you 🙂
      Thank you so much again for your thoughts.

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